Dream that did not come true

baby elephant

I remember that I ran to my mother and told her that I had seen a small baby elephant.

She asked me with a smile that where had I seen such a thing.

And getting the perfect time to chatter I started off…I saw that I was somewhere. I can’t remember where but there were lots of trees and bushes. It was certainly dark and I could not see much. All of a sudden I saw some light approaching me. I thought it would be a car or something. But I was wrong it was a small baby elephant.

My mom said that’s great you saw an elephant, so it seems that the trip to the zoo really made some impression on you (she understood that I was talking about my dream).

I said yes. But mom we didn’t see any white elephants in the zoo, then why did I see a white baby elephant.

My mom jumped with joy and reconfirmed a white elephant, a white baby elephant.

I didn’t understand what made her so excited all of a sudden. She said it brings good luck.

So, for a twelve year old what could mean good luck? It didn’t mean getting a good paid job back then. It had to be exams, I thought, because I had given my mid terms and my results were due in a week’s time.

Every day past in excitement and certainty, that I will get good marks, because lady luck had favoured me and given me a sign.

The final day arrived when I was to get my results. I was rather disappointed to see the marks. I was definitely not the top student of the class; forget that, I was not even in the top ten.

I remember this dream not because it made an impression in my mind that I had not see a white elephant earlier in life. It didn’t give me a hope that one day I will land up in a jungle or zoo and watch a white elephant. It was able to make an impression because of what I had expected out of the dream.

How could have I achieved something based on my dream; whereas, I had already performed an action to receive what I was to receive. I understood then, that dreams are not reality. They are just an alternative to one reality giving us hope. They can’t have meanings unless you give them one. Dreaming could help, but is fruitless without the efforts. A lit bit of planned efforts and dreaming might take you one step closer to what you want in reality.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/26/daily-prompt-sweet-dreams/

 

Pinwheel in motion

pinwheel

I took off, not with someone, but alone. Did not run out off the country but stepped out of the house. It was not after years or days but it was only after a couple of days that I decided to take a leave from my daily chores and visit the outside world.

I didn’t go very far from my home, but just a close by market place. I think market is the best place to socialize when you are all alone. I just love to sit somewhere and watch the people. It all seems like a movie.

My eyes were scanning through a lot of things: the office goers, the school children, the college students, the cars running at a speed, an old person trying to cross the street, mother holding her child tightly to cross the road, the desperate drivers waiting for the signal to turn green, some cutie couples snuggling around the corners of the cafe and acting to place an order when the truth was they just wanted to sit…I didn’t know then that all these activities were being registered whereas in reality I was just enjoying my moment.

Have you come across those moments in life when you become a child? I will see myself turn into one in a few minutes time.

I was watching everything as if it was my creation. Just then everything froze in front of me as I caught a glimpse of my childhood memory.

I saw it. As it was spinning around, it seemed very attractive to me. The colours were so vibrant that it had to attract your attention. It was meant to do so. I am an adult and things like these should not attract me. It’s perfectly fine for me to smile at it but not show excitement like a five year old kid. But then I did. I smiled like an adult and was little excited when I saw the pinwheel.

I didn’t know what I was doing but I knew exactly what I had to do. Claim it; at least have one and so I bought it. On the way I just kept looking at the wheel which was in motion. I didn’t care if people were looking at me or it or were not looking at us at all, for all I knew was, I was looking at the wheel and certainly enjoying it.

I kept it in an empty jar near the window where it could take uninterrupted breaths of life.

As a child I was always amazed to look at it spinning continuously. I thought it was somehow connected to the breeze. I could not comprehend the technicality behind such a simple thing. All I knew was it had a thin round wooden frame. It looked like a wheel of a cycle and instead of metal spokes had thin strips of colourful papers attached to its center. The center of the wheel was pinned to a bamboo stick.

Today as I was holding a memory of my childhood days it made me realize that it is me. The object symbolizes me in many ways. The wheel continuously spins itself with the push of the wind. Sometimes it plays along with the breeze like a playful child and then it slows down at random intervals to take a break. An unseen power, much like the breeze helps me in my movement of life. I’m the center of my wheel. The world around me has many colourful strips of paper. They are the people who are connected to me in some or the other way. Some are the close members of my family, some are my friends, some are strangers whom I know, some total strangers whom I don’t know. They all form the important part of my colourful life; I don’t know if I could have lived my life alone. I believe that these people help me to pull myself through good and bad times of my life. They are important to me as much as I’m important to them.

I’m looking at the wheel it hasn’t aged a bit in its enthusiasm. It spins to life with every opportunity and then dies slowly with the slow breeze. To me, it always seems to be smiling colourfully. It will stand for some days until the breeze weakens it or until the several hands loosens its grip from the center or just tear from somewhere middle.

I know that the life will not always be fair to me; there will be some flying days and some dying days. I know not everyone will be a part of my journey till the end of my life; some would hold my hands and some would leave. It amazes me that even when it is still, it reflects vibrancy and to me, it is happiness and life itself.

But the only question that comes to my mind is, “can I remain to be cheerful and vibrant like the pinwheel all the time?”  Can I reflect the same positivity during the grey days of my life?

Weekly Writing Challenge: Object

Twelve year old

The twelve year old that I was, I don’t remember her any more. But I do remember her not to be fun loving (like other kids of her age), not to have many friends, not to be an attention seeker and most definitely not to be a pampered child.

However, she was an obedient kid, a studious kid perhaps and she was a loveable child in the family.

When I look at that twelve year old kid now; I see that she has lost much of her resemblance to me. The only thing common between us is our birthdays and our parents.

 I don’t remember her wearing a smile on her face. I don’t remember her making a list of things to be asked as birthday gifts.

Many things have changed over a period of time and so has she.

“Birthday is a time to eat good food,” she thought and asked her mother to cook something special. And she did get special food to eat on her birthday. Didn’t matter what it was, so far as there was some chicken and rice on the menu her little tummy was content and her heart happy.

For the little twelve year old there was no work other than studying. There were fewer occasions when the bags were opened with the intention to just complete the homework. Birthdays were one such special occasion for her.

School time could not be skipped, but after reaching home began her fun hours. The entire day was lost in playing and watching cartoons until it was dinner time.

After having a good meal it was time for her to go off to sleep.

Daily Prompt: Shake it Up

It’s all about WordPress…ing

Do I like writing? This question just occurred to me and the answer to this question is I certainly enjoy writing. I know that I’m not a writer nor do I claim to be one. I’m just a normal person writing…writing for, I don’t know, may be many reasons or none at all.

What does WordPress mean to me?

It means a lot by giving me an open sky to express myself. I’m not here to write like the other good writers (that you’ll find) on WordPress. Well I’m not any influential writer, but I’m just a normal person and I write to share my experiences of life. I write about what I’ve observed in my life or in general, things that I would like to change, things that made a difference in my life, things that made my life better. But then there are times when I just write to relax my brain cells (it is a good therapy, can you believe it, believe it).

This is how WordPress makes me happy?

Does it give me chocolates, no of course not but something more valuable than that. I remember as a child, when I was in nursery our teachers used to give one star or two stars; I didn’t know the purpose then, but we as little children used to be very happy and count who had earned the maximum from the teacher. Whenever I look at the stars from WordPress I feel like that same child again. I don’t do what I did then…counting. But it brings sheer joy and a sense of appreciation to me.

There is something else as well that WordPress does, wouldn’t you want to know what that is. It helps me to exchange comments and interact with my fellow bloggers. When I receive and posts comments; I feel that the very inactive post has become alive.

How can you miss the small plus like signs? WordPress says that they are your followers. They mean so much to me. I sure feel a greater sense of responsibility with the rising number. I respect them and their time.

Every like, every follows and comment counts and makes a huge difference not only on my blog page but also in my life. It shows your appreciation; it gives me the added power boost that is so needed at the sudden low tides of my life.

But then I don’t worry too much as I have said earlier I’m no serious writer. I write sometimes to be read and heard, and the other times not to be read at all.

 

The language of silence

ssshhhhh____silence__please_by_lnefer-d3c38be

For some silence brings anxiety attacks, but not to me. I find much comfort in silence. I can say the journey of me and silence has been as old as I am (that would be not too old as 50’s and not too young as 20’s).

As a child, I grew up in a joint family, with grandparents, aunts and uncles and of course my parents. You might be trying to figure out silence amidst the chaos of so many family members. Staying in a joint family is not always peaceful and enjoyable like a story book picture where everyone and everything seems to be happy. Actually there were some good days and many bad days. My father had a transferable job, and it was decided between the two parents that mother and I should be staying at my grandparents.

The arrangement was made; father was working peacefully without being worried about us. Mother and I were staying without disturbing my father and at the same time I was getting educated with all the family attention and drama.

My parents used to fight, as a child you could always sense it. As the fight use to begin, it was never a matter to be solved between the two of them; the entire family use to jump into the fight. What did you think of me? A child, yes I was a child who could easily sense the tension in the air. And of course I used to get scared at first, then it became more like watching a live movie (except I was a child and didn’t pay for the tickets).

So, what could I do? I used to run away and sit in the garden. Thankfully we had a garden; garden with beautiful flowers and not thorns like the harsh words exchanged during the fight. Silence…and long silence used to be mine. Sometimes I used to spend hours sitting there. I remember at first I used to think why the fight, who is to be blamed, is it the same in every house. But then came a moment of silence and it dissolved all my feelings and pain. Suddenly all the things happening in my family stopped affecting me anymore.

Then I moved out off house to start my career. I was filled with newness of life. Everything was different as life looked quite promising to me (like any other teenager).

After working the entire day, where would you go, yes home. At that time as I was a fresher and a not yet married; home was a cozy room with a bed, a side table with a study lamp, a cooking stove and some utensils. Yes, that was it. So, what about silence, if I had been working and just crashing into the bed all tired after the day’s work; where was silence in this scenario. Coming to that point; there were weekends and I used to spend those by just sleeping or shopping. Then came a point where I was no longer interested in these and I didn’t have any friends as such (it was a new place and everyone was a stranger to me).

So, what new could I do? I started to read. When I got bored of that as well, I used to be silent for long hours. It helped me to think and re think about my life, about my goals, about my next steps in life.

Then I met my husband the boring days were gone (so, I thought, but they will come in the future). We moved to a different city and then he suddenly became busy, very busy. He used to leave for work in the morning at eight and come back late at night.

I didn’t have any company other than the walls and all the tangible things in my house. We used to talk very less, not because there was tension between us, but because he didn’t have the time.

Then again, came along my way; long lost silence. This time it was not the calm understanding me that I had faced earlier. I was much disturbed and frustrated; thinking why was I being ignored. Was it my fault or his, thinking what had changed in our relationship.

Silence and complete silence told me it is nobody’s fault. He is working hard for us (and of course for himself as well). In silence I got rid of all the negativity that was polluting my mind.

Silence never eat me up, but always gave me a sense of understanding and calmness. It taught me to be patient and helped me to deal with the situations that I faced.

Every country has its own language, and language again is broken to different dialects based on the regions. Similarly I believe, silence to be a language on its own. Silence can make some people uneasy, but that is not its true nature. Silence can be interpreted in many ways. I would like to think that it helps to emote in a better manner. Emote as in not only emotions but also helps to relate to our problems, situations and sometimes those nasty and not so nasty people that we have to deal with in life. Of course, you are free to have a different viewpoint at any given time.

When parents look at their new born, the silence is that of a miracle.

When parents watch their children walk, the silence is of happiness.

When parents watch you go on your first date, the silence is of amazement.

When you leave your parents in search of a job and achieving you dreams, the silence is promising.

When you face rejections in life and interviews, the silence is of desperation.

When the girlfriend/ boyfriend ditches you, the silence is heartbreaking.

When you have proved yourself in life, the silence is a successful one.

When someone dear passes away, the silence is to remember.

When you try to remember the people who are long gone, the silence is of missing and sometimes regretting.

So, haven’t we all observed silence in our lives. We all have faced silence in our happy days and sad days too. The life continues in silence, but we hardly notice it because it all happens without us being in silence. There are some who like to flow with the hustle and bustle, and then there are some who follow the silence. Some enjoy the beat of chaotic life while the others listen to the silent tune of silence.

Weekly Writing Challenge: The Sound of Silence

Vice and Virtue is mine

Human is born.

Free of vice;

not possessing any virtue.

A pure soul is called a child.

“Children are angles from heaven above,” they say.

 

Child is radiant, kind, humble, honest,

free from lust; only owns love.

A few qualities to own; makes everyone proud.

Challenge not one but many storm in life.

 

Qualities fumble.

Innocence lost to desire.

Desire the first step to success.

The very first step to jealousy.

 

Envy brings more company.

Who can be perfect?

It is not an ideal world.

Desire the strongest vice.

Innocence the humblest virtue.

 

Desire a true vice or a virtue.

Who can be sure?

Jealousy owns your soul.

The ups and downs of life;

written by vices or virtues owned by me.

 

One moment they are mine;

the other moment they are yours.

Who can control?

 

World is the same.

People have changed.

Who am I to blame?

Humans remain humans;

the virtue shines.

Humans turn animals;

the virtue declines.

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/19/daily-prompt-rick-roll/

Legacy to leave or live

What did I bring with me?

Nothing other than me.

What will I take with me?

Nothing other than me.

 

But by the time I leave;

I would have lived an entire life.

Would I have left anything behind?

Or, would I have taken everything along.

I don’t know;

Who, will know?

 

The unknown will have an account for everything.

I will, not have built a mausoleum of love;

A Taj Mahal to be gazed by loving surprise.

I will, not have painted a puzzled smile of the century.

A Leonardo’s Mona Lisa,

The mystery of painting or the mystery of your sight.

 

I will have tried to touch,

Every heart with kind words.

I will have tried to paint;

Every heart with a tender smile.

 

Wealth can be acquired and lost;

Things can be constructed and destroyed.

Good deeds done to be remembered.

Always, they are to stay.

 

It will have spread like wild flowers on the earth.

The smell so sweet and colours so vibrant;

That I will see from far across a distant land.

So, will I have left a legacy;

Or lived one.

I will see in the eyes of someone.

 

Daily Prompt: Don’t You Forget About Me

The Daily Post “Genie”

I would love to get hold of a genie, but I don’t know if they do exist. However, today “the daily post” is my genie and it will grant me three wishes.

Here are my three wishes:

1) I wish to possess some power that would let me know about the daily posts, weekly challenges and all the other challenges in advance. Why? I would have extra time to think and write.

2) I wish to read each and every post on “The Daily Post”. Why? Because of the time I’m not able to read all in one day. My aim is to read all in one day, because they all are great and every post has something different to offer.

3) I wish to see “The Freshly Pressed” logo on my blog. Why? I like the logo.

But till the time I’m visited by a genie and all my wishes are granted (in my dreams); I would have to do all the three things by myself, the hard way since short cuts are often tempting but not often fruitful.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/13/daily-prompt-lucky-star/

The Law of Karma

Newton’s third law of motion which is very common, states: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. It is proven and I’m not going to talk about it.

Instead, I’m going to talk about “The law of karma” which states (according to what I’ve googled and understood):

1) Good karma will produce good results and bad karma…bad results.

2) Every action is balanced with same consequence either in this life or future.

3) Your future life is depended on the quality and quantity of karma or deeds done in this life. Based on these deeds, I will get a body which could be of an animal or a human being.

Simply stated if someone is able to prove the existence of “the law of karma” then I would be extra careful in whatever I do and say. I’ll also be watching who the receiver is (a thing or a person) because someone would be watching me (ALL THE TIME and scoring me on my deeds).

These are the things I would be careful while doing:

1) While reading like most of the people I have the habit to fold the corner of the pages. I think I’ll have to stop doing that. What if the book becomes big and twists my ears for a change.

2) I love to keep plants, but I occasionally water them. I’m sure you would understand busy schedule and how everything else is important except for this. But if the law of karma comes into existence I’m sure my plants would demand for an explanation. And who knows they’ll deprive me of water.

3) When I’m angry I start throwing things (yes, things that are not very expensive of course). I can’t imagine to think what if these things come to take their revenge on me (bouncing me like a ball).

4) I always give alms to the beggars, but there are days when I’m getting late and I don’t bother myself to wait and open my wallet to give them money. Well, what can you do about the situation but what if tomorrow may be in this life or in some other life they have greater power and money than me. They’ll simply say, “You were busy then, I’m busy now.”

5) There are some lazy relaxing days when I just throw my things here and there and not keep them at their place. While I’m relaxing I’m not sure if these objects will be confused with their temporary arrangements. I guess I would be confused with my temporary house if someone will say the magic word “KARMA”.

6) I can’t imagine if the lights in my house fit the law of karma do you know what they’ll do. Well, they’ll deprive me of my wonderful beauty sleep, because sometimes I leave the lights on for the entire night and deprive them of their beauty bright sleep.

7) When I see a lizard, my first reaction is to shout. Then my only motive is to get rid of it ( by throwing things like piece of paper then rolls of it, if it’s still there very courageously I go near it and thump my feet as to make a loud noise). Did I just forget that it is a stranger in my house and I should welcome it rather than scaring it? Any ways if the law of karma works; and if I visit someone, and get the same crazy treatment I would think that person is insane.

8) What about the vegetables that I cook and eat; I don’t want to land up at a place where vegetables have a party and I’m a vegetable.

9) Dusting away the dirt and dust from the household objects is not my favourite chore but I’ll be as careful as to not to disturb the dust particles from the surface. Could be possible if I end up as a dust particle, even I would want to sit at one place and have more company so that we could cover and hide the object itself.

10) My garden sometimes gives me lovely flowers. I think I own them, so I just pluck them and put it in a vase or a glass to decorate my room. But then, I have killed it, and separated it from its roots, I would not want the same treatment.

If the law of karma exists I would have to be so careful that I’ll have to hire someone to watch me. And  I would also have to treat that person fairly.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/12/daily-prompt-karma-chameleon/

A letter- to My Valentine

In response to: writing-challenge-valentine

Dear Love,

You are the most important person in my life. You came into my life almost eight years ago. Don’t ask me what all things you brought along the way.

I used to be all by myself, you changed that.

I used to get very angry, very quickly, you became my anti-angry pills.

I never used to smile, thinking it is not important; you showed and told me the importance of my smile.

I used to cry when I failed at things, you gave me the courage and became my pillow to cry.

I used to be stubborn at times; you understood and tolerated me during those times.

For me, life came in a box mentioned “handle with care”; you suggested to me to break this box and live out of this box. You taught me to enjoy every moment of my life.

You made me a person that I had never thought of or intended to become.

Over these many years I can’t say what our relationship has become. I think it has become stronger than ever. When I first saw you, yes I just saw you, and passed away. I didn’t have a time machine, then, to see that it will only be you in my future.

Together over the years we have come to know each other more, than we know about ourselves.

Together we have seen good and bad days.

Together we have quit from our jobs. Together we have looked for jobs.

Together we have waited for our career launch.

Together we have fought over things like cats and dogs.

Together we have played the game of silence after each fight.

Together we came a little closer after our fight turning into silence and finally silence being filled with true understanding.

Together we have balanced our life with the right amounts of feelings, emotions, understanding and the most important of all love.

You know that I don’t believe in any “special days”.  Firstly because I don’t remember any dates; I simply forget, even if I mark it on a calendar. Secondly I believe that every day is special since you are with me.

With you, every day and every moment of my life has become special.

With you in my life I don’t need any occasions to celebrate.

With you in my life I don’t need a reason to rejoice.

With you in my life every day is a party.

With you in my life I feel special.

With you in my life I don’t need anything or anyone else.

With you and only you in my life I feel that I’ve lived all my lives in one life.

With you in my life I don’t have to go any other way, because I know all the ways would lead to you.

With you in my life and my heart I know that we are connected and cannot stay apart.

So, here I’m writing to you to show how important you are to me. I thought that you should know, as it is sometimes important to show.

From,

Truly yours.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/10/writing-challenge-valentine/