Dusting

dustingShe called and said, “Enough, mom I can’t take it anymore. I can’t stay with him anymore.”

She kept the phone. Dragged herself to the kitchen, with heavy eyes started to drink some water.

She slowly moved to the sitting area with a cloth duster in her hand.
She was dusting away the dust from the surface of the things- big and small, expensive and cheap. She was dusting away the experiences of her life- happy and sad, painful and cheerful.

The husband was back. The house looked perfect. She did a wonderful job. The objects were shining as the surface looked clean. She seemed normal as she had dusted away all the feelings of pain, anger and unhappiness.

In a while, everything will catch dust and the cleaning will have to be done…again.

Advertisements

Tale of wrinkles

wrinkled face

The term “age” generally means “experience and learning” to me. For a child things are simple and original (atleast it was to me when I was a child). I remember my aunt bringing a talking doll for me when I was six or so, it was a new thing to me; I had only seen the normal dolls, blinking their eyes and raising their arms and legs, so this was new (a couple of years later she will bring a crying baby doll for my sister, that would also be new to me). Many things are new when you try to look from a child’s eyes.  The pencil with floral prints, pencil box with a musical note to it, pencil erasers of different shapes and sizes, a card that plays music as you open to read it, band-aid with colours and faces of cartoons (than just a plain one). Then you see- the age of black and white television sets and then coloured ones (they were the box that had magic in them, you turn it on you see people and things come to life, you turn it off they go away), computers (that were replacing work force. It was also difficult to understand as to how could a machine do the work of ten/ twenty or more people), mobile phones (simple, complicated, 2Gs, 3Gs, 4Gs and what not). They all were new at some point in time. But with growing age, I became wise (as it is said and believed that old are wise) to know that these things were losing its originality and value, they no longer surprised me.

We humans have a tendency to relate age with death (Atleast my grandparents and parents thought the same, so I believe it was centuries old thought, but now we have replaced age with beauty). The wrinkles on our faces tell the years of our survival and life on the planet. I remember my grandmother she had wrinkles, lots of them. But in the folds of those wrinkles were hidden life’s experiences, learnings, based on these she would tell me stories and narrative incidents to strengthen my life. They also had lots of love and hidden emotions to convey her feelings, which was difficult for a child like me to show. I only had a few emotions to play:happy-laugh, sad- cry, surprise- jump, not too many you see. But today, even I have a lot of emotions to play from my experiences in life, from simple to complicated. What do they do? Sometimes they make simple things, complicated and the other times I succeed in making complicated things, simple or even more complicated.

The rising age is suggestive to a lot of things like: more and more friends and acquaintances, life’s experiences and harshness, hoping for a better tomorrow, looking at your family tree growing with newer branches and leaves, being with your family during both happy and sad times, it shows you the reality of the world, now these could be the positive things on the list.

There is only one negative point though “your age is increasing in number” (one digit…two digits…13…25…34…48…and till you are alive). We girls don’t like that at all and will do anything to hide it at first, and then comes the knowingness that it will be futile to do so. You cannot run against time in any way possible, so you run with it, your choice to run fast or slow (I think that is fair enough at least we get that much choice to make). So, lesson learnt: you cannot fool time so we learn to accept the growing digits in our ticking age clock.

Animals grow old like us, hard to comment on their level of experience and learings though. But they show physical signs of aging as in slow, lazy, staying at one place.

Then comes the non-living things, they tell a different tale altogether.  Talk about a historical monument or any structure as a matter of fact. If you visit an old cathedral or an old fort you will be amazed to see it vastness and magnitude of the structures. They give a glimpse of a bygone era… and leave you wondering about its life and how life would have been at that place. They help you to relive and construct a past that is no longer there. It gives you the power to imagine and be a part of a life that was lived in that particular structure or a monument. Sometimes structures also tell the sad story of human life and death inside those walls. If you go to a deserted mental asylum or a prison building it will give you an eerie feeling. It will give a sad feeling making it hard for you to breathe…but it will tell a story, not of a rich culture but of miseries of those people.

So, everything catches the dust of age and they all tell stories.

Weekly Writing Challenge: Golden Years

It’s all about WordPress…ing

Do I like writing? This question just occurred to me and the answer to this question is I certainly enjoy writing. I know that I’m not a writer nor do I claim to be one. I’m just a normal person writing…writing for, I don’t know, may be many reasons or none at all.

What does WordPress mean to me?

It means a lot by giving me an open sky to express myself. I’m not here to write like the other good writers (that you’ll find) on WordPress. Well I’m not any influential writer, but I’m just a normal person and I write to share my experiences of life. I write about what I’ve observed in my life or in general, things that I would like to change, things that made a difference in my life, things that made my life better. But then there are times when I just write to relax my brain cells (it is a good therapy, can you believe it, believe it).

This is how WordPress makes me happy?

Does it give me chocolates, no of course not but something more valuable than that. I remember as a child, when I was in nursery our teachers used to give one star or two stars; I didn’t know the purpose then, but we as little children used to be very happy and count who had earned the maximum from the teacher. Whenever I look at the stars from WordPress I feel like that same child again. I don’t do what I did then…counting. But it brings sheer joy and a sense of appreciation to me.

There is something else as well that WordPress does, wouldn’t you want to know what that is. It helps me to exchange comments and interact with my fellow bloggers. When I receive and posts comments; I feel that the very inactive post has become alive.

How can you miss the small plus like signs? WordPress says that they are your followers. They mean so much to me. I sure feel a greater sense of responsibility with the rising number. I respect them and their time.

Every like, every follows and comment counts and makes a huge difference not only on my blog page but also in my life. It shows your appreciation; it gives me the added power boost that is so needed at the sudden low tides of my life.

But then I don’t worry too much as I have said earlier I’m no serious writer. I write sometimes to be read and heard, and the other times not to be read at all.

 

Is it the job or the boss or you?

step

 

I guess we all remember our first job (the same way we would remember our “list of firsts”). I don’t know if I was excited or nervous (pretty much the two feelings attached with anything on my “firsts list”). Any ways I remember being introduced around and to my desk (to which I would serve other than my boss and the company). Till a few months it was a comforting place, until one day my boss summoned me to his cabin. I thought I’ll be appreciated for my work, only to know in few minutes that my myth was about to be broken.

She said in a serious tone,” You are not performing well. It has been three months and you are not meeting your deliverables. As a result we’ll have to put you under “PIP” (performance improvement plan). As scary as it sounded it also sounded awesome to me (of course the acronym, one of the first lingos of the corporate world).

With a sinking heart and heavy steps I reached my work station. Now the desk didn’t seem inviting or comfortable. The talk had snatched away my comfort zone and transformed it into a lion’s den (the one place that I would be afraid to sit).

My reaction seems to have been blurred but I still remember that my feelings had taken a strong grip of me. Tears started to roll out, knowing and thinking that I’ve failed. Then, this feeling was overpowered by crazy thought to just harm the one who gave me this news. I didn’t know what to do, thinking that I’ll be fired I just started pushing myself too much (of course there were people around who were very supportive).

I don’t know if it was the fear of failing or the fear of losing my job that made me hasten my steps towards my job. By the end of the month I was not announced the employee of the month, however, I was performing. I was glad to hear the news and relieved to have been removed from “PIP”.

Whos-the-boss-LOGO

Years have passed by and now I’m the boss. Sometimes I find myself in the exact same spot as my boss. I would not say that I act better than her because it would mean comparing (you cannot compare the situations, in my understanding because situations and people will not remain the same). I would like to say that I try to wear a different approach when I have to break a bad news.

This experience has taught me how the person would feel at the receiving end. As the boss I know I’ve to break the news. I can hear their confidence shatter (the same way mine was broken like a glass back then). I try to gather the pieces with them and from here on I become there silent and active guide. By breaking the news you are already the devil, the least you can do is be the person and guide him/her.

When you are bad at something, you would already know that. Someone telling you that “you are bad” will not solve the problem. What will solve the problem is if that person can tell you what needs to be done. The best way to say would be, “exchanging the role from the giver to the receiver” and play the role of your receiver.