Nearly a month of moaning is over. It was only last month when things were going… as usual. One usual day the mobile rang. It brought the most sad and unpleasant news of the demise of a loved one.
Death, a disinterested topic of discussion, had knocked at my door after a long time. So, how was I to take this?
I moaned and cried and questioned as I imagined a dead body lying motionless on a bed. Normally, I had gulped down the topic of death like some bitter pill but today while gulping it down I chocked… and tears started streaming from my eyes. My heart became heavy and I could feel my body sinking to the ground.
What troubled me at this moment was that the physical body which had symbolized someone would no longer radiate energy. It had turned stiff and motionless and very soon will be reduced to dust and ashes. My mind started working on some images from the past – some, good time… spent together. He was like a father to me, and I had lost him forever. Although, I knew that the energy form would still be present somewhere, I moaned for the physical body which would be destroyed no matter what. I deeply prayed for that energy to be at peace.
Death always raises the question of existence but in a different manner – of the dead, and not of the living. It conjures images and ideas about life after death. Perhaps, that’s why so many fear death as we know so much about life and so little or nothing about death. Perhaps that’s why when we see death, we contemplate our actions, our behavior, our relationships with others and the journey of life itself taken so far.
Life happens… and so, does death. Everything could change in a quick second. In a quick second, when the warm breath of life is lured or hijacked to the valley of death… things change. Living is transformed into dead.
We might have progressed and advanced a great deal in scientific technology or curing of diseases or even have much knowledge about the functioning of the body, but there is only one question – What or who decides to let go or lead that warm breath of life back to its rightful body?
When a motionless body turning cold, regains its heartbeat it is no less than a miracle. Life so, is no less than a miracle as we exhale this warm breath of life each second. So, what is death? Death to me is that hard truth that is nicely covered in a glossy sheet of life. No matter what you do or how you do death will always be placed at the center of life.
Death happens because there is life; it happens because it has to happen. Life would not make sense without death and we would continue forever. Life, a giant wheel of warmth and activity, halts when death pulls the power plug of life. Everything comes to a stillness and in that stillness we try to make some sense of death. But, death is death – it generally doesn’t make any sense at first. We work it out the way it seems suitable to our human minds.
A death of a loved one always leaves a big hole in one’s life. Time, although a great healer, sometimes turns to be a failure at this job, and thus the vacuum created by a death is sated only by another death.
Life allows us to find answers but death retreats into silence. The cause of death can be known, but…death in itself remains a mystery. The questions about – souls, life after death (i.e. if, it is there), are we reborn, do our deeds really count after death or is it only till the time we are alive. We would never know about death while we are alive, and when dead we cannot experience life.