Cluttered Closets

Today I was listening to Louise Hay after a long time and I liked the idea of her saying that people with cluttered closets and fridges have cluttered minds. She says: It is symbolic and people with cluttered closets reflect a cluttered life, and so we should all take some time to clean them.

Now, I’m not a freak of some kind who goes organizing my closet every alternate day. You may laugh, but I know some people who do it on a daily basis and I absolutely love them for their dedication. Why? Because I lack patience arranging my closet. I’m lazy (only) when it comes to organizing my closet. I would rather spend time arranging and dusting my bookshelf or read a book than do this. I mean, what’s the point of arranging the whole closet when I know it will soon be a cocktail party of pajamas, t-shirts, jeans, skirts, trousers, dresses…sitting all together inside my closet and some even peeping out of the closet door.

However, it’s only the closet space where my things get the liberty to be scattered. My house is organized…spick and span…my fridge and kitchen…are always sparkling clean…my laptop nicely done in folders. Everything else is so organized that I can call from a different location and guide the other person to find my things (in a step by step process) in my house and my laptop (I’ve done it so many times…successfully).

Anyways, when I heard this… it went on like a beep and a message was received inside my head. I need to clean my cluttered mind closet. In the past few days, I had seen some long lost thoughts and emotions finding me and poisoning me with their negativity. I always try to abstain myself from any negative thought or negative people. People can be avoided or ignored (well, most of the times) but as the thoughts are self generated the only one who can help – is, oneself.

lotusSo I did, what I had not done, in a long time. I sat in complete silence – meditated for a while. Sitting in a lotus pose, I watched the negative feelings surfacing and opening like tea leaves in boiling water. Not holding or drifting with it, I just let it float in front of me.

The thought was of forgiveness. Forgiving, those who had harmed me knowingly or unknowingly in my past (as a child, that I don’t wish to speak about here or now).

At this moment, I visualized myself like a lotus opening up. I asked (and gave positive affirmations to) myself to allow and emit feelings of forgiveness and love to them.

When I opened my eyes, I felt fresh and peaceful.

I would love to share a few of my affirmations with you.

  1. I’m thankful to have met wonderful, positive and supportive people in my life.
  2. I’m thankful for being taken care of and being provided in the best possible way.
  3. I absolutely love and accept myself.
  4. I allow myself to let go off my past negativity.
  5. I allow myself to have a prosperous and an abundant life.
  6. I allow myself to forgive and love those who had inflicted me with pain in my past.
  7. I allow myself to have a happy, healthy and completely healed body and mind.
  8. I allow myself to enjoy my work.
  9. I allow myself to have a continuous flow of income in my life.
  10. I allow myself to move from poverty thinking into prosperity thinking.

If you want to read or know about how to introduce and work on affirmations you can read, watch or listen to  Louise Hay on her official website or youtube.

Two Cranes for Eternity

We were sitting on a bench by the pond. There were water lilies – pink and white – that had lifted up from the water. The gentle breeze touched their soft petals and guided their sweet fragrance to us. There were some ducks by the pond. They were busy soaking themselves in water. Ripples were added to the water as they swam.

My hands fit perfectly in your hands. Its warmth gave life to my soul. My head found a nice resting place on your shoulder – strong, yet fragile. I wished for this day to continue forever like a circle…never ending and always going.

From somewhere two cranes flew and landed by the pond. They were lost or so it seemed. But they didn’t care as they were lost…lost in each other. And all they cared for – were each other.

The sun, glowed a mild orange glow and the birds were flying back home. We got up and just like the birds started walking towards our home…our hands still tied together.

Nothing could separate us; nothing would separate us. We were at the final steps of our lives. We had seen it all and there was nothing we feared…except, for the fear of losing our souls.

Walking, we were, when all of sudden a lamppost stood in front of us trying to block our paths…trying to separate us into two. I didn’t lose your gentle grasp. Walking past the lamppost, with a soft smile on my face I said, “I will never leave you.” “I know,” he said. I could see my smile reflecting in his eyes as they twinkled with love for me. Now we were lost like the two cranes for eternity. We were lost in each other’s eyes and just like the cranes… we had no concern for our surroundings. We were locked in time and space in each other’s eyes.

He knew only one kind of love

His black blazer was kept on the bed along with a light blue shirt and a multi coloured tie. They all were arranged neatly side by side. Jacob came out of the bath and aimlessly threw his wet towel on a chair.

This chair was the only piece of furniture in his bedroom. His idea of this chair was – a companion. He was never a lucky man when it came to companions. The last time he thought of a companion, it was Lucy – a receptionist at his hotel.

Lucy was the exact opposite of his mom. Smart, shrewd, organized, outspoken and witty. He used these words to describe her, when he spoke to Richard about her.

Richard, was one filthy rich guy, who also happened to be his friend. Richard also liked to be called Rick or Richy instead of Richard. He thought it suited his millionaire personality.

Millionaires are of two kinds, only two, thought Jacob. They are either born or made. No third kind existed between the two.

According to him a lot of things didn’t make any sense. He thought that the maid should go on a leave every Sunday instead of a Monday. He thought that he could only tip at a road side eating joint as the waitress needed the money more than the waiters at his hotel. He thought the valet of all the five star restaurants were thieves. He thought that his gym instructor had some connection with the CEO of Google.

Google had dominated a part of his life. It was Google that helped him with his chatting, face book, YouTube and searching for and later translating most of the profanity in all the languages possible.

Profanity was used habitually at his home. Somehow it didn’t touch him when he was a kid but now it turned out to be his favourite pass time.

Passing time was never an option for him when he was growing up. His father died when he was only eleven. Mom stitched buttons in the denim jackets while he saw each blue jacket with lustful eyes.

He decided to work to have money that could help him give whatever he wanted. Wanted was a simple term for him. It meant – more than he needed. Need was…money, food, a nice pair of shoes instead of torn ones, able to read and write. What he wanted was a job, two meals a day, leather boots, education and the list kept on increasing each year.

Education was his primary goal till he became fifteen. For education he worked day and night. He did all that he could and went everywhere that said “Job, Available.” He had learnt to read and write a little when his father was alive. He knew what ‘job’ meant; although, words like available, vacant didn’t make any sense to him. Sometimes he got the job and sometimes he didn’t.

Slowly and steadily he grew to be a man with some money in his account. As a boy he started as a shoe shiner then sold flowers at a local market after which he took a job at a bakery and then he started delivering newspapers. After that he started distributing magazines to the stalls near the big offices. He was fascinated to see the people young and old all dressed in formals – coats, ties, blazers, suitcase, silver watches. He learnt quickly and progressed much quicker than he had anticipated.

He reached to a place where his anticipation had turned into a reality – from rags to riches, he said. He had a few degrees and knew a lot of people. He said, “Work can make a person but not knowing the right people in the business could break a person”. He occasionally came up with such one liners.

He loved one liners. He knew when to give what to the people. He also knew in what quantity and that’s why people loved him.

But he knew only one kind of love – love for his work. He looked at his adverts with loving admiration. The eyes that were filled with true love and passion – for his work.

What started as work for him, blossomed as an art and now had strengthened as love.

Let it shine forever

“Come, with me,” says a voice and I float after it.

Lost. My identity lost. My body lost but I know I’m still there in some form of existence.

I’m swimming through a void of memories and dark and bright pathways. I face darkness first and then the bright white light of eternity engulfs me.

All of a sudden – a last memory – a distorted smile trying to pull me back. I try to wipe this memory clean and see… a man. A Face…young, hair… black, eyes…sparkling. It looked familiar. A view from distance helps me to see another face…a woman, young, black curly hair, eyes light brown. She was smiling and had something in her hand.

“Who is this?” The existence asked the voice.

The voice, “Don’t you remember. It’s you.”

“Which one – the man or the woman,” asked the confused existence?

The voice said, “The woman… of course. Now let’s hurry, we are getting late and the portal will close soon.”


The existence started following the voice without any choice.

“Wait! Wait.” She shouted and said, “I remembered that moment. Keith…I think. Yes! That was his name. He had proposed to me. My ring. I can now see in that moment much clearly.”

Good! Now let’s go.

Wait, why is everything getting grey? Why is it so bright, now? I can’t see anything from that moment. Please! Please, make it stop.

“I’m sorry I can’t”, said the voice with some softness in it. He continued, “However, if you want I can let only one thing remain for eternity in your memory – in the same form as it was real. Fast. Time is running out of your hands and mine as well.”

golden ring

Fine! Don’t shout. I choose my hair…no, wait I choose him…no, no. I choose my brown eyes…no.

Fast kid!

Wait…wait, wait. I choose…that ring…the golden ring. With his name inscribed and our promise of love. I ask you to let the golden ring never be black or grey or white. Never be lost in time and space.Let its golden glow be forever. Let it shine like a sun… forever.

I’ll fly like a bird

I have seen the birds flying in the blue sky. I have seen some gliding high, very high, some flying so low that I could catch them and keep them.

I wonder if they fly because of some requirement or is the body that is build to function in this manner or it simply loves to fly. It is very difficult to fathom, as a human being.

As humans, we are inspired by the birds when we see them soaring up in the vast expanse of the sky. I have never been able to ask any bird if they really enjoy flying. I have never been able to decide if they are tired by covering their journey of life in small flights, say per km. I have certainly no knowledge if they enjoy flying or just seem to be doing a mundane job of theirs. It’s difficult to know if they really think so much before a take off.

I have always seen them as free creatures- stretching their wings, flying in a distant unknown land, free from the earthly bounds- and maybe that’s why I want to fly like a bird, someday. Every human, maybe once in life, has a deep desire to acquire a pair of wings and take off to a mysterious land… be a free soul.

Come to think of it, I’m sure it would face certain hardships in such a lifestyle of- doing nothing, flying, sitting, chirping, eating and sleeping in trees or their nests. But when it spreads its wings all charged to meet its new day, ready to fly, claim its freedom for yet another day, discover an unknown territory or claim a known patch of sky or land once again, it knows no bound. It is possessed with a sprite of flight.

But I’m sorry, I don’t see all this. All I see… is a bird on a flying adventure… a free soul to a mysterious land/ sky. And that’s why I fancy them, I imagine to be like them.

So, as the new day awaits me I’ll borrow a set of wings. I’ll fly, venture out the new day with a new spirit as my wings of courage fan out and help me to claim a patch of blue sky. I’ll fly each day with a smile that chirps, ready to meet challenges of any sort.

Smiling with the Smell

I smell nature

in fresh green grass

I smell innocence

in a hot cup of chocolate

I smell strength

in the pages of new books and covers

I smell freedom

in the vastness of sea

I smell relief

in the first shower of monsoon rains

I smell my hunger

in the freshly baked carrot cake

I smell love

in lavender, jasmine and roses

I smell my addiction

in a bottle of all ground spices and herbs

I smell laziness

in the dark blue night sky

I smell a child

in you

Best birthday ever

Mom’s are the sweetest things ever, they are the best gift from God. My mom, she is a mixed combo of sweet, sour, tangy and chilly emotions. No, she is no dish but she is one weird being. There are times when she’ll go out of the way to do things for me and she is this sweet candy bar to me.

Then there are times when inspite of me telling her ten thousand times not to do a particular thing….what will she do? She will end up doing the same exact thing that I have told her not to do. So I associate this stubborn nature of hers as being tangy and sour.

And then there are days when she is just fiery, flaming, hot chilly. This is the only time when I’m scared of her. No reasoning helps her to understand me or my situation. This is the only time when she dominates me.

Yes, I know Mother’s day is over but do you need just one special day to remember or tighten this great bond. No, I don’t think so. Whenever you find the time you should try to strengthen this bond or any bond that is special to you.

The other day I went to one of my friend’s birthday party and that’s when I remembered her- my mom.

I remembered that she would wake up early to make me my favourite pancakes on my birthdays. School seemed to be very boring than usual as I knew something delicious was waiting for me at home. And yes, I was right as I arrived home mom would serve me pulao (rice made with chopped vegetables and dry fruits) and chicken curry. A short nap was followed after lunch and when I woke up it was homework time. Since it was a special day I got leave from studying. Then along with others I would cut my birthday cake, enjoy, play and the hectic day filled with fun would come to an end. The dinner would be served with my favourite sweet dish…kheer (a kind of rice pudding).

The veg pulao dish

The veg pulao dish (rice made with veggies and dry fruits)

Kheer (another rice dish which is sweet)

Kheer (another rice dish which is sweet)







The menu for my birthday remained the same irrespective of whatever my age was. The dishes never lost its taste, never seemed to be boring or too simple. Inspite of it being repeated every time once a year I never once felt that it should be stopped.

Now the independent and grown up person that I have become I celebrate this day as it pleases me. I would go shopping, watching movie with friends or go on a vacation…anything that is away from usual.

I still remember those birthdays spent with her. There was no money involved to make me happy then but there was her love and affection that made my day so special. Her sparkling smile with the good morning kiss and the birthday wish would fill me with the fountain of positivity. Though I might dine at a famous restaurant on my birthday, eat an expensive dish or receive a precious gift…all this put together will never be able to equate those birthdays spent with my mom.

Although she visits me sometimes, which is atleast once or twice a year. She would off and on cook my favourites during her visits. However, the alignment of my special birthday menu on that very special day hasn’t come to life in a very long time (ever since I moved out of home).

A Job

I do. I do, love you, my job.

It was eight years back that I found you. I would have been lost in the gallery of life, had passion not driven me to you. Now you would be wondering as to what do I do.
I train people on communication skills, customer service and other aspects of soft skills. Long time back when I had joined a company, I met my trainer. She was full of energy and I wanted to be like her.

I started paving my path towards my goal as a trainer. I loved every aspect of training, right from the research work…to building games, involving participants, reading…giving feedback…receiving appreciation from clients and participants…working long hours…staying up the entire night preparing reports, going for meetings, preparing presentations.

Every day I got up with a smile to meet my batch. With every batch I learnt new things and shared my knowledge with them.

This could very well be my present day, very busy, but it is not. For the past three years I have been working on project basis because of my health. Mostly it is due to migraine, which could be due to stress, bad weather, too much of coffee or the lights from the projector sometimes even scent of a bouquet will be sufficient enough to trigger the pain.
What happens after this? I become an observer captured in my own body. It seems that the pain takes the driver’s seat and I’m sitting at the back. Thanks to my doctor and thanks to my candy headache tablets (yes that’s what I call them) I can pop it in anytime and it eases my pain.

Present Day- I still love my job. My relationship with my job is based on passion and dedication and I’m not going to leave it. Working on a part time basis perfectly suits me well.

Now I can invest my time in other activities also which gives me pleasure. Like reading, writing, meditating, cooking, listening to songs, paintings, craft work and gardening. Yes, these activities are for pleasure’s sake only and no money is involved in performing or showcasing them.

Love stays strong


We met as colleagues. We passed each other at our coffee breaks.

We went discovering a town that was new to both of us. I don’t know if it was the company or the place but I liked both.

I was a shy person, bit reserved but I guess, I had already started liking him.

Friendship grew strong and proposal came along.

We tied knots, stayed strong.

Things changed much from young to mature, from surprising elements in relationship to learning new things about each other.

I know he stood strong; he knew I stood strong.

Storm came along, but we moved on.