Yes, that’s right “don’t let it affect you”. This is a new mantra that I fumbled upon recently. I keep on reciting and repeating this until my mind is at ease.
When I was young; I was naive and new to learning many things. At home and office no matter what or how I worked I ended up getting long lectures from my mom at home and from boss at office. And then, just like everyone I used to throw questions at myself. The normal regular questions like: “Why me?” “Why did this happen to me?” “What did I do wrong, what is my fault?”
Of course! This used to be tiring and at times proved depressing. When in a state of depression not only your mind but your body also shows signs of how hard you are taking things. Your mind is easily penetrable through small and big instances (you can’t even take a joke for a joke). Your body becomes lazy and lethargic.
I’m a different person now and I’m armed with the mantra “don’t let it affect you”. Earlier I used to be easily affected by small and big situations like: when I didn’t get through to the college of my choice, when I didn’t get an apartment of my choice, when somebody else in the family or neighborhood proved to be a success story that I was not even close to. Oh! The classic one, when my best friend or even a possible acquaintance got married before me. The interrogation process began without any delays.
Then it just occurred to me that why am I bringing pain upon myself. Then I started rectifying questions; instead of “why me?” I asked, “Why not me?” Instead of asking “Why did this happen to me?” I asked “Why did this happen for me?” I believe in nipping the problem at its root and by using these two questions I was doing just that. When things didn’t happen as expected I started asking these two questions and other why questions didn’t bother me much.
Hours of moaning were now lost in contemplating as I posed these two questions in front of me. I analyzed the situation with a bigger picture in view. I looked at the smaller picture but it didn’t trouble me because I was looking at the bigger picture. I was looking and thinking about other options.
When I lost my job due to recession, I didn’t know what to do. Then asking the rectified question I thought what else can I do. I started freelancing and then I looked for more options. It was only at that time that I realized that I could express myself in words among many other things that I do.
It so happens that in order to reach at the bigger picture or have other options you need a clear head. It turns out that the two most important parts of our body i.e. head and heart are always at a tussle. During the interrogation process (asking the why questions) the head is the ruler, however, during the contemplating process (asking the rectified questions) the heart becomes the ruler.
The head plays sly games by presenting logic to us and it becomes difficult to rescue the heart. The reasoning’s of the head doesn’t let your heart to express itself. What we need to do is look at logic but believe in whatever the heart says. So, if the heart says “let it be” then be it so. You’ll be able to think only when the head rests and makes itself clear of the foggy thoughts. During a foggy day it’s best not to drive. Similarly let the foggy thoughts settle down because as soon as it does, you’ll be able to look at the road ahead of you. Clear road and safe driving is only possible when the fog has settled.